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Doktrin Agama dalam Kehidupan Saya

Renungan, Sehari hari

Saya tidak bisa membayangkan bagaimana keadaan yang terjadi di Sibolga, Sumatera Utara beberapa hari yang lalu. Seorang ibu dan anak-anaknya berada dalam kepungan polisi yang berusaha membujuknya untuk menyerahkan diri. Dia bukan sumber dari permasalahan yang terjadi. Menjadi bagian dari keadaan tersebut mungkin takdirnya. Mungkin juga adalah jalan yang dipilihnya. Saya sedih membayangkan bagaimana anak-anaknya yang tidak mengerti pun ikut sebagai korban akibat keputusan ibunya. Mungkin saat itu tidak ada lagi pikiran jernih. Atau mungkin bagi istri terduga teroris ini malahan itulah pikiran yang sejernih-jernihnya, karena kabar yang terkini yang beredar adalah dia sudah menjadi ahli dalam membuat bahan peledak, dan meyakini bahwa bom bunuh diri adalah jalan yang tercepat untuk mencapai surga.

Apakah surga itu sebenarnya? Apakah benar itu yang akan kita tuju? Suatu tempat ataukah keadaan? Sampai sekarang saya tidak bisa percaya bahwa saya akan ke surga jika menciptakan neraka bagi orang lain.

Saya paling ngeri terhadap doktrin atau paham-paham yang bagi saya tidak dapat saya olah dengan akal saya. Sebagai seorang perempuan, saya merasa lebih banyak menggunakan logika daripada perasaan. Pengalaman hidup yang saya lalui memang tidak mudah dalam menghadapi konsekuensi doktrin agama ini. Dan itulah juga yang membuat saya tetap mencari nilai spiritual yang merupakan pengalaman pribadi dan hak saya sendiri. Walaupun dengan itu banyak yang harus saya korbankan. Tapi itulah pilihan.

Yang menakutkan adalah bagaimana doktrin ini bisa dengan mudah masuk ke dalam diri kita. Saya mengidentifikasinya sebagai berikut

1.  Kelompok yang homogen

Pada kelompok yang homogen, membuat kita dapat merasa lebih baik daripada orang lain. Saya ingat ketika saat saya masih ikut dalam kegiatan-kegiatan agama yang tidak dapat saya tolak karena alasan keluarga dan lingkungan. Informasi-informasi mengenai agama lain sangat diproteksi. Jika tidak langsung disebut bahwa itu adalah kesalahan, sehingga kita tidak punya keberanian untuk mengeksplorasi informasi tersebut

2. Imam atau pemimpin

Pimpinan kelompok punya peran besar dalam mempengaruhi anggotanya. Keyakinan yang dimiliki haruslah lebih besar dari anggotanya sendiri. Memang pemilihan sosok pemimpin ini adalah karena kelebihannya. Tetapi bagi saya semua orang punya motivasi dalam melakukan sesuatu. Dan motivasi ini penting bagi saya sehingga saya tidak mudah mengiyakan apa yang dikatakan orang. Saya tidak akan mudah mengagungkan seseorang, tetapi adalah pemikiran dan tindakannya yang akan saya contoh jika saya merasa itu yang harus saya ikuti.

3. Ketakutan

Satu yang paling jelas pada kelompok yang menggunakan doktrin untuk kepentingan apapun menjual ketakutan. Jika takut orang pasti akan melakukan apa saja. Surga dan neraka, dosa dan pahala semua membuat kita menjadi  harus melakukan atau tidak melakukan sesuatu karena asbab itu. Bagi saya adalah penting menganalisa setiap tindakan dan indikator yang saya gunakan adalah manfaat dan mudharat. Bagi saya itulah dosa dan pahala atau bahkan surga dan neraka. Saya tidak akan melakukan sesuatu dengan alasan imbalan tersebut. Untuk itu urusan Sang Pencipta dan saya tidak ingin melakukan sesuatu atas dasar ketakutan. Tetapi resiko terhadap tindakan sangat penting untuk disadari sehingga itu yang menghindarkan saya dari berbuat sesuatu yang merusak.

4. Refleksi

Memperbanyak refleksi adalah cara menghalau paham yang baru bagi kita. Adalah hak diri sendiri untuk menentukan jalan, ini bagi orang yang berani keluar dari 3 hal yang sudah saya sebutkan di atas. Diperlukan pembelajaran yang lebih banyak sehingga berbagai refernsi membuat kita lebih yakin dalam memilih sesuatu. Akal sudah dikaruniakan untuk kita sehingga saya tidak kuatir jika itu yang menjadi alat yang sudah disediakan pada manusia yang merupakan kelebihan dari mahluk hidup yang lain.  Selain itu perlu keberanian dan siap dengan resiko untuk mengambil tindakan jika tidak sesuai dengan kesimpulan yang kita dapatkan dan kita yakini.

Saya belajar untuk tidak menilai sesuatu itu baik atau buruk, saya akan memilih sesuatu yang menurut diri nyaman untuk saya jalankan dan memberikan kenyamanan dan kebahagiaan dalam diri saya. Apa yang saya pilih adalah bukan berarti yang terbaik dan yang lain adalah buruk. Selama saya bisa membuat diri saya dalam keadaan nyaman itulah saat saya berbagi dan bisa bermanfaat untuk mahlkuk ciptaan Tuhan yang lain.

Semoga saya tidak termasuk dalam kelompok yang ketakutan dalam menjalani hidup. Apa yang menjadi aturan dari alam semesta yang diciptakan oleh Tuhan sudah tak dapat ditolak. Tinggal bagaimana saya saja menjalaninya dengan penuh kesyukuran. Kalau memang mau kiamat seperti yang digembar gemborkan di satu daerah di Jawa Timur itu terjadi, hijrah kemana pun juga akan sama. You can not run away from what will happen to you. Just embrace it.

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