Saya tertegun dan menatap mata yelly yang bening kecoklatan terbias karena lensa kontak yang digunakannya. Dia dengan gamblang menyampaikan tentang keadaan hidup saya seperti buku yang sudah tercetak rapih dan siap dibaca.
Saya menatap kertas yang bergambar piramida terbalik, berisi angka-angka yang tidak saya mengerti dari mana asalnya, kecuali deretan paling atas di piramida itu, tanggal lahir saya.
“Ibu, di sini terlihat ibu mengalami kegagalan dalam berkeluarga, dan punya potensi untuk bunuh diri”. Sadis yah. Seperti kisah-kisah drama korea saja. Tetapi memang itulah yang terjadi.
Saya menerawang, mencoba mencari-cari serpihan kisah-kisah hidup saya yang berhubungan dengan itu. Memang benar adanya. Ini sepertinya bukan ramalan, tetapi konfirmasi saja terhadap apa yang saya sudah bawa sejak lahir, ya.. melalui tanggal lahir itu.
“Ibu ini orangnya dekat sama orang besar, tetapi tidak langsung. Mungkin karena kerjaan atau hubungan kekerabatan”, Yang ini entahlah. Saya dari dulu menganggap semua manusia sama saja.
Saya penasaran, lebih lanjut saya mengajukan beberapa tanggal lahir lagi, milik orang-orang terdekat saya. Karakter yang disampaikan pun cenderung sama. Menilik sampai ke unsurnya dimana hubungan dari dua karakter bisa lebih dominan dari yang lain. Ini super, pikirku
Numerology, saya jadi tertarik dan mencari tahu tentang ilmu ini. Saat sekarang memang sudah berkembang, dan dijadikan sebagai salah satu tools bagi paranormal untuk mengungkap apa yang tak terbaca secara umum. Saya menganggap ini ilmu pengetahuan, sama seperti tanggapan saya terhadap hasil fingerprint test yang dilakukan oleh kedua bocah saya. Horoskop dan Shio memang bukan untuk dipercayai tetapi bisa menjadi petunjuk. Itu menurutku
Saya tidak berpikir satu metode bisa mewakili membaca pribadi secara keseluruhan tetapi dengan banyaknya referensi justru saya bisa memiliki data potensi khususnya tentang diri saya dan orang-orang terdekat saya. Kapasitas dan kelemahan pasti terlahir bersamaan dengan munculnya kita di dunia ini.
Memang benar, sejak kita mulai bisa memisahkan mana antara bahagia dan derita, antara sukses dan melarat, antara jahat dan baik. Kita melihat diri kita menjadi sesuatu yang cenderung kita inginkan. Tetapi apakah itu bisa diubah? Saya tidak mau berpikir terlalu jauh. Mungkin memang ada yang terlahir sebagai orang yang nantinya jadi pemimpin, tetapi bisa jadi jahat atau baik. Menurut saya kesadaran adalah yang paling utama. Menyadari takdir kita dan saya tidak akan menolaknya. Saya punya keyakinan jika saya mencintai apa yang saya miliki sekarang itulah yang terbaik.
Begitu pun untuk orang-orang lain. Saya jadi bisa melihat dan belajar untuk memaklumi karakter orang lain. Tidak perlu menyalahkan tetapi dengan segala kelebihan bisa dimaksimalkan, kekurangan bisa diminimalisir. Belajar membaca membuat saya sadar. Ada hal yang tidak bisa saya pilih. Yang bisa saya lakukan adalah mencintai hidup saya yang sekarang.
Jika saya mengingkarinya, saya yakin keburukan akan lebih dari sekadar takdir yang sudah dituliskan.
Jaga niat dan berbuat tulus penuh kasih sayang. Itu saja kuncinya.
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