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Hormat itu Kini Terkikis

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Kolom tradisi di Kompas hari ini, tanggal 25 Oktober 2013 berjudul unik. “Gelas Besar untuk “Pembesar””. Sekilas kisah tentang tradisi yang ada pada sebagian orang Bugis-Makassar. Hirarki sosial yang tercermin di meja makan. Siapa yang mendapatkan jatah piring dan gelas besar, dialah “orang besar”. Tulisan dari Budi Suwarna dan Aswin Rizal Harahap ini membuat saya kembali memetik serpihan-serpihan masa lalu, keadaan masa kini dan membandingkannya.

Memang benar yang diceritakan oleh para penulis. Kita bisa melihat siapa pemimpin dari suatu kumpulan sosial saat kita makan bersama. Meskipun saya bukan murni lagi keturunan Bugis Makassar, tetapi tradisi ini pun berlaku di keluarga. Walaupun piring makan sama, Gelas besar jelas sekali itu punya bapak saya. Bukan hanya gelas, tetapi giliran makan pun yang pertama adalah orang tua. Tradisi ini secara otomatis berpengaruh pada hal-hal lain dalam keseharian. Jika bapak saya sudah berbicara, tidak akan ada yang bisa membantah. Hormat kita kepada orang tua membuat kita patuh dan keluarga menjadi gampang diatur.

Sekarang sepertinya tradisi itu sudah jarang diperhatikan dan dilakonkan, saya pun demikian. Apakah karena saya terbiasa mendapat kesempatan belakangan, saya tidak tahu. Tetapi sekarang kecenderungan saya malah mengutamakan anak-anak. Mereka harus makan duluan barulah kami. Walaupun tidak selalu, keadaan ini sangat berbeda dengan tradisi lama. Sekarang saya jadi berpikir, dengan memposisikan mereka yang utama bisa saja membuat mereka jadi manja. Takut mereka tidak merasa dipedulikan? buktinya kita bisa melalui itu tetap menghormati dan menyayangi orang tua walaupun kita mendapat giliran akhir saat makan. Gelas besar pun tak ada lagi, malahan gelas-gelas anak-anak kita lebih mahal dan beragam dibanding gelas yang kita pakai.

Karena memanjakan anak-anak, mereka menjadi pribadi yang kurang hormat lagi. Bisa dengan mudah membantah orang tua. Sekali orang tua berkata mereka bisa menjawab sepuluh kali. Terkikis sudah rasa hormat itu karena tradisi yang tidak kita lanjutkan. Sayangnya, banyak tradisi yang dilakukan dulu memang tanpa penjelasan. Apa makna dan kegunaannya. Kearifan lokal yang tergantikan oleh tradisi global mengakibatkan kita kewalahan dengan perubahan yang tidak kita sadari. Sewajarnya kita memelihara tradisi. Apalagi jika kita sudah menyadari, orang orang tua kita lebih paham tentang hidup, kenapa kita tidak mengikutinya?

 

453 thoughts on “Hormat itu Kini Terkikis”

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