Wanita Mandiri, Salahkah?

Sebenarnya malas juga menanggapi pernyataan seorang ustad di social media. Heboh memang, banyak yang tiba-tiba mem-bully. Terlepas dari benar tidak saya cuma ingin menyatakan pendapat saya pribadi. Apa yang saya pahami, jikapun keliru semoga Allah memberikan petunjuk setelah ini.

Malam ini tiba-tiba linimasa jadi “panas”, banyak yang nyinyir tiba-tiba dan tujuannya pada seorang ustad yang memiliki perjalanan spiritual sebagai mualaf. Berpindah agama ke Islam. Sebelumnya saya memang men-follow linimasa miliknya, tetapi beberapa pernyataan pemikirannya kurang sesuai dengan apa yang saya pahami, maka saya berhenti mengikuti linimasa. Perbedaan itu wajar kan?

Bukannya saya tidak ingin membuka hati atau pikiran. Kadang niat itu sulit untuk dijaga. Meluruskan niat sehingga tidak termuat hal-hal duniawi lain itu perjuangan. Dari awal, pertengahan hingga akhir tindakan tersebut tetap harus dijaga. Niat dakwah pun demikian. Saya tidak berani menghakimi siapa pun, tetapi tanggapan yang diberikan oleh orang lain itu bisa menjadi tolok ukur, niat kita tersampaikan atau tidak.

Mungkin apa yang ingin disampaikan secara keseluruhan itu benar, tetapi cara menyampaikan bisa membuat orang salah dalam cara pandang. Contohnya di twit yang berikut:

Felix copy

Jika saja pilihan katanya lebih manis, saya yakin para wanita tidak akan merasa tersinggung. Saya tetap menganggap niatnya baik, menempatkan posisi wanita yang tetap harus hormat kepada suami, menghargai suaminya. Namun ustad itu lupa, pria juga harus menjalankan perannya dengan maksimal. Bertanggung jawab, memenuhi nafkah lahir bathin dan menjadi pelindung bagi keluarga sehingga bisa menjadi imam.

Ini bagai ayam dan telor, tidak ada yang bisa disalahkan untuk masing-masing peran. Semuanya saling berhubungan jadi tidak ada yang bisa disalahkan sepihak. Wanita memang tidak ditakdirkan untuk hidup sendiri, harusnya tetap berpasangan dengan lelaki. Tetapi jika kemandiriannya bisa membantu suaminya dalam keluarga, harusnya bisa dipahami dan ditoleransi.

Di zaman sekarang, wanita membantu suami dalam mencari nafkah itu sepertinya sudah umum. Saat itu dibutuhkan juga peran suami untuk membantu. Saya yakin tidak ada wanita yang dengan sengaja memilih untuk sendiri, tetapi banyak alasannya karena keadaan. Jika dia merasa lebih nyaman untuk sendiri, harusnya para lelaki berpikir dalam-dalam. Pasti ada yang harus diusahakan lebih untuk bisa membuat wanita mandiri itu merasa membutuhkan dirinya.

Di zaman Islam berkembang, menurut pengamatan pribadi saya, wanita tergolong mahluk yang lemah. Banyak yang menjadi budak, tidak akan mampu berdiri sendiri untuk keadaan itu. Sekarang zaman sudah berbeda, tetapi kodrat memang tetap harus sama. Wanita tetap harus bisa menghormati suaminya. Suami pun harus menjaga agar sikap dan tindakannya bisa membuat istrinya bergantung dan menghargai dia. Semuanya harus sebagai satu tim.

Banyak wanita mandiri yang berusaha keras, menjalankan peran sebagai ayah sekalian ibu. Apakah itu seram? Seharusnya mereka tidak direndahkan. Atau memang ada yang ingin memposisikan wanita sebagai mahluk rendahan? Mari kita berpikir sama-sama

 

 

264 thoughts on “Wanita Mandiri, Salahkah?

  1. Saya selalu suka dengan topik “Kemandirian perempuan”. Tapi seperti yg mamie katakan, ini seperti menjadi perdebatan panjang antara Telur dan ayam. Jadinya malas saja, ketika orang yang diajak berbincang mengenai hal itu, langsung mengunci dengan kalimat,

    “ah perempuan tetap butuh laki-laki”.

    Dan melengos pergi. *mauku’ tappe’* :’))

    Malah, sekarang-sekarang ini saya sedang ‘hangat-hangat’-nya dijangkiti pernyataan dari orang-orang: “ah, memang kamu yang terlalu mandiri, sangar ke laki-laki”. Saya cuma meringis, begitukah?.
    Sembari selalu melihat ke dalam diri sendiri. Apakah memang ada yang salah.

    Pegangan hidup saya,selagi saya mampu kerjakan ya saya kerjakan sendiri, saya tidak mau merepotkan orang lain. Ya harusnya laki-laki di luar sana ‘kelak’ bangga dong memiliki saya. Tidak menyusahkan mereka. Tapi jangan juga, dengan kemandirian ini, mereka jadinya lepas tangan. Yang pasti, saya tetap membutuhkan kalian. *jerit dalam hati*

    Saya sepakat dengan kalimatnya mamie yang ini :

    “Saya yakin tidak ada wanita yang dengan sengaja memilih untuk sendiri, tetapi banyak alasannya karena keadaan. Jika dia merasa lebih nyaman untuk sendiri, harusnya para lelaki berpikir dalam-dalam. Pasti ada yang harus diusahakan lebih untuk bisa membuat wanita mandiri itu merasa membutuhkan dirinya.”

    Hayyaaa… bisami jadi 1 tulisan ini komentarku. Hehehe…

  2. Saya selalu suka dengan topik “Kemandirian perempuan”. Tapi seperti yg mamie katakan, ini seperti menjadi perdebatan panjang antara Telur dan ayam. Jadinya malas saja, ketika orang yang diajak berbincang mengenai hal itu, langsung mengunci dengan kalimat,

    “ah perempuan tetap butuh laki-laki”.

    Dan melengos pergi. *mauku’ tappe’* :’))

    Malah, sekarang-sekarang ini saya sedang ‘hangat-hangat’-nya dijangkiti pernyataan dari orang-orang: “ah, memang kamu yang terlalu mandiri, sangar ke laki-laki”. Saya cuma meringis, begitukah?.
    Sembari selalu melihat ke dalam diri sendiri. Apakah memang ada yang salah.

    Pegangan hidup saya,selagi saya mampu kerjakan ya saya kerjakan sendiri, saya tidak mau merepotkan orang lain. Ya harusnya laki-laki di luar sana ‘kelak’ bangga dong memiliki saya. Tidak menyusahkan mereka. Tapi jangan juga, dengan kemandirian ini, mereka jadinya lepas tangan. Yang pasti, saya tetap membutuhkan kalian. *jerit dalam hati*

    Saya sepakat dengan kalimatnya mamie yang ini :

    “Saya yakin tidak ada wanita yang dengan sengaja memilih untuk sendiri, tetapi banyak alasannya karena keadaan. Jika dia merasa lebih nyaman untuk sendiri, harusnya para lelaki berpikir dalam-dalam. Pasti ada yang harus diusahakan lebih untuk bisa membuat wanita mandiri itu merasa membutuhkan dirinya.”

    Hayyaaa… bisami jadi 1 tulisan ini komentarku. Hehehe…

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  111. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old
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    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.

    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but
    I had to tell someone!

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  112. When I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thank you.

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  116. I absolutely love your site.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you develop this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m attempting to create my own site and would like to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Thanks!

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