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Semuanya jadi datar dan tak bergejolak

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Terusik dengan komentar-komentar yang ada di postingan iqko, mengenai drama yang nyata dialog antara orang tua dengan anaknya. Kenyataannya materi memang dapat dipandang dan dirasakan, dapat pula menjadi ukuran pembading kemapanan dan kenyamanan.

 

Lebih buruk lagi dapat saja membuat orang lain menjadi gemas jika menemukan orang yang dengan entengnya membicarakan nilai ratusan juta sementara di sekitarnya masih banyak orang yang kelaparan, hidup untuk hari itu saja.

Saya pernah merasa demikian, ketika tetangga di kompleks memanjakan anaknya dengan kendaraan yang berlebih, mereka masing-masing mendapatkan satu motor, walaupun usia mereka masih di bawah umur. Bahkan sebuah mobil disediakan untuk yang tertua yang masih memakai seragam putih biru.

Anak-anak saya, hampir sepanteran usianya. Harus diantar ke sana kemari, naik angkot dan kadang harus mencarter ojek untuk bisa mengantarnya ke sekolah.

Fenomena yang dapat menimbulkan perasaan iri yang merembet ke asumsi-asumsi lain yang cenderung negatif.
Darimana mereka dapat uang itu? Bapaknya kan pegawai ini? Emang segitu gajinya? Trus kalau gitu kenapa bisa beli ini? Dan sebagainya dan seterusnya..

Kita menjadi seorang investigator tiba-tiba, independen tapi berpihak. Berpihak pada ketidakmampuan diri sendiri untuk melakukan hal yang sama.

Tapi itu dulu, semuanya terhenti ketika mendengar musibah. Anak yang belum cukup umur untuk berkendara harus merelakan adiknya yang dibonceng berpulang ke Ilahi. Hilang semua asumsi-asumsi yang sempat terpikir untuk mencari bukti padahal sama sekali bukan urusan saya. Yang tertinggal hanya simpati, perasaan duka yang terikut oleh duka anak-anakku saat kehilangan teman sepermainan mereka.

Tidak ada yang tertinggal selain penyesalan pada mereka dan pembelajaran pada saya.
Saya belajar untuk tidak menilai keadaan sepenggal, saya sekarang hanya berusaha untuk memahami. Kenapa mereka melakukan itu apa akibatnya kemudian dan sebagainya.

Saya cenderung berpikir sederhana walaupun ini kadang mematikan rasa. Sepertinya saya akan sulit merasa sirik lagi, semuanya dalam pemakluman. Semuanya jadi datar dan tak bergejolak

Apa ini baik atau buruk, saya cuma menjalani saja.

193 thoughts on “Semuanya jadi datar dan tak bergejolak”

    1. iyah, belajar untuk memahami, memaklumi.. soalnya kita juga sering salah dalam bertindak.. yah biar semua jadi pembelajaran 🙂

      Reply

    1. iyah, belajar untuk memahami, memaklumi.. soalnya kita juga sering salah dalam bertindak.. yah biar semua jadi pembelajaran 🙂

      Reply
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